Don't be a Human Punching Bag for Anyone--Ever!

This morning I was looking back over my life and reflecting on the myriad of events and experiences I have survived in my half century of life. It is hard to believe that I got through some of the things--but I did. After thinking about those things I started thinking about my legacy as a woman, mother and grandmother. If I have one universal caution for women and men (I have both sons & daughters) it would be: Don't be a human punching bag for anyone--ever! I'm just talkn bout what I'm talkn bout.

Oprah Winfrey uninvited a famous Gospel singer because his ex-wife alerted her that he was pending charges of domestic violence. The famous talk show host also recently featured Rhianna talking about the violence in her relationship. The pity is that there are thousands of incidents daily, but it is cloaked in secrecy. Nobody wants to talk about domestic violence.

Domestic violence and emotional abuse are behaviors used by one person in a relationship to control the other. Partners may be married or not married; heterosexual, gay, or lesbian; living together, separated or dating.

Examples of abuse include:

• name-calling or putdowns
• keeping a partner from contacting their family or friends
• withholding money
• stopping a partner from getting or keeping a job
• actual or threatened physical harm
• sexual assault
• stalking
• intimidation

Violence can be criminal and includes physical assault (hitting, pushing, shoving, etc.), sexual abuse (unwanted or forced sexual activity), and stalking. Although emotional, psychological and financial abuse are not criminal behaviors, they are forms of abuse and can lead to criminal violence.

The violence takes many forms and can happen all the time or once in a while. An important step to help yourself or someone you know in preventing or stopping violence is recognizing the warning signs listed on the "Violence Wheel."

ANYONE CAN BE A VICTIM! Victims can be of any age, sex, race, culture, religion, education, employment or marital status. Although both men and women can be abused, most victims are women. Children in homes where there is domestic violence are more likely to be abused and/or neglected. Most children in these homes know about the violence. Even if a child is not physically harmed, they may have emotional and behavior problems.

If you are being abused, REMEMBER

1. You are not alone
2. It is not your fault
3. Help is available

Chris Brown and Rhianna--Don't grow up and act like Adults

Chris Brown and Rhianna please do not grow up and become the adults that you've witnessed in your homes and on television.

Public fighting, arguing and jealousy related to text messaging are great fodder for episodes of The Game, and Cops--but not for accomplished, goodlookn, rich, and famous young adults who care about each other.

Now because your fight has gone public you will both appear to be idiots if you make up--even if thats what you both want. Chris you are making it very difficult for the people who made you to continue to sell you as the "clean cut boy next door." Rhianna, you are making it hard for people to believe you to be an innocent victim. Somewhere you both learned that violence was a way to solve relational issues. You are both wrong. Perhaps this can be fixed. This might be even too big for the most talented publicists to play down.